Today, I really miss my son. I found out, a few days ago, that he had called a friend of his. She immediately called and told me. She has always told on him, of which I’m so thankful. I’m glad he has friends who still care about him.
She said that he sounded really good, and that he told her he wasn’t doing or selling drugs. I have no way of knowing if that’s true, being that he’s been known to tell a lie, or five thousand, in his lifetime. Apparently he’s hiding out due to the fact that there’s warrants for his arrest in this county. Nonetheless, I was happy she had heard his voice….at least for a little bit.
When I just started thinking really hard about it, I got furious. I realize he knows we wouldn’t hesitate to call the cops on him, but he also knows we love him more than anyone, and that we’ve always been there for him. How dare he not call me?! I thought to myself, if abortion is legal, you can kill a sweet, innocent baby. Why can’t you ‘abort’ teens and young adults? Certainly I jest, yet I seriously wonder.
Then I was heartbroken thinking about how he must be feeling. I know that he loves us. He’s young, and in his mind he thinks these warrants are the end of the world. He might have to do a little time in the county, but the charges are all misdemeanors. They’re not going to go out or their way to pick him up. How long will he stay away? I know deep down he misses us as much as we miss him.
Then, for a day or two, I barely thought about him, and that scared me. I never want to do that. I know that time makes things easier, and that I do have to go on with my life, but I had gotten so used to living in panic mode. Now, I actually have peace, and for some strange reason, there’s times it bothers me.
I know God’s in control. I know Tuck will be fine. Today though, I’m missing him. I would appreciate your prayers.
Lamentations 3:49-51 – The tears stream from my eyes, an artesian well of tears, until You, God, look down from on high. You look and see my tears. You listened when I called out, ‘Don’t shut your ears! Get me out of here! Save me! You came close when I called out. You said, ‘It’s going to be all right.’ “You took my side, Master – You brought me back to life!”