Without God, Steve and I would be divorced. Period! No ifs, ands, or buts about it! Our marriage would’ve failed had it not been for God’s grace and mercy.
You see, like a lot of young couples, we started out backwards. We had sex before we married. Well, Steve was married, just not to me! We moved in together. I ended up pregnant, for the second time, without a husband. Needless to say, we started our lives together with a ton of baggage! Most of it was baggage we had created being young and dumb.
The first ten years of our marriage was a nightmare! The sad thing is, it didn’t have to be. It was bad because we chose for it to be bad. It was bad because we were doing things our way and not God’s. It was bad because we were living selfish lives, with no regard to each other. It was bad because we had no idea who we were in Christ. We didn’t know that He had a plan, and that His plan is perfect.
God’s plan is for the husband to lead his family and be the head of his household. The sad thing is, if your husband doesn’t follow Christ, he doesn’t know how to lead. How then, do you make a marriage work?
For the first ten years of our marriage, Steve didn’t know The Lord, but when he met Him, WOW! What a difference it made in our lives. I had already decided to follow Christ, but I didn’t pressure Steve to go to church. Eventually he just started going with us. He later told me that he had noticed such a change in me, he wanted what I had.
You see, if you’re truly living your life for The Lord, others will want what you have! If there’s someone you love who seems to have no interest in the things of God, the best thing you can do is to practice what you preach! Don’t just talk the talk, but walk the walk.
In our early years, I would want to be ‘good’ and go to church, but my life wouldn’t be any different. I’m sure that didn’t make Steve want to be a part of the church, what would be the point? Harping on someone to go to church won’t work either…especially on a man! Treating them differently, doing right no matter how they act, praying for them, letting them see you putting God first; those are the things that will make them want what you have. Simply let your actions match what you say. Actions really do speak louder than words!
Ladies, if you want the man in your life to be a godly leader in your home, treat him the way God says to treat him! Not because he deserves it, but because the bible says to do so. Men, if you want to have a sweet godly wife, love her like Christ loves His church! Protect her, pray with her, lead her. Not because she’s the perfect wife, but because the bible says that’s how you should love her.
Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands. Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage. Ephesians 5:22-28 the message