I’m Too Sexy For This Ped Egg

Let’s pretend, for just a little while, that it’s the cool thing to be fat. I mean, instead of everyone exercising and killing themselves trying to look good, they were eating donuts and watching tv. We could replace restaurants like Hooters with Hooters PLUS! Or better yet, Pooters, for those women with big, fat butts! Let’s just say that, for a little while, all skinny, fit women were jealous of those of us who are clearly enjoying life, and all that it has to offer.

What if stretch marks and saggy boobs were sexy?! How about wrinkles and gray hair? Let’s take it even a step further! How about hairy legs, and crusty heels actually being a turn on! Bye bye razors and ped eggs!

What if, while standing in line at Walmart, there were pictures of mediocre looking people on the front of magazines? And articles on how to gain weight! This is getting better by the second! What if wishes were ponies, then everyone could ride! Pfffftt!

As I sit here, feet propped up, typing away, I’m thinking about how I’m tired of how I look; but so far I’ve done nothing about it, except complain. Well, that, and wish that it was the ‘in’ thing to gain weight and be lazy. Ah! If only wishing burned calories!

If our bodies are temples, I suppose we should try to take care of them, but all the worrying women do over how they look is pointless. Looking good, according to worldly standards, and being healthy are totally different things.

You rarely hear looks mentioned in the bible. Heck, the bible even says Jesus himself was average looking,* Isaiah 53:2b. So why are we so obsessed by how we look? Men, some of y’all are just as bad, so don’t judge! Is it because society has poisoned us? Do we watch too much tv? Are we focused more on ourselves than on God? Yes! All the above!

I bet if we’d focus on what mattered, a lot of these things would seem a lot less significant. What do you think? Now, I’m going to start planning the opening of my new restaurant!

It is better to enjoy what our eyes see than to long for what our roving appetites desire. This, too, is fleeting, like trying to embrace the wind. Ecclesiastes 6:9

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