Time’s a tickin’! Only 16 more days until our FMOG, Tucker, gets out of prison! I would love to tell you, my faith was so strong, that I didn’t have one worry, but alas, I find myself fretting.
I didn’t realize I was so worried. I mean, if you were to ask me, I’m going to tell you that “God’s got this!”, and that “I totally trust Him because He’s promised me everything will be ok!” Thing is, the past few nights I’ve had dreams about Tucker veering off onto the wrong path. I find myself wondering if I’m trusting God enough. Is my faith in God strong enough to make up for my lack of faith in Tucker? I sure hope so!
Is it ok that I’m already having doubts? Don’t get me wrong, they’re not doubts about God. When I say God’s promised me that Tuck will be ok, I truly believe Him! I just find myself wondering if this is “it”? Has this been enough to make Tuck want better for himself? I’m guessing these thoughts are normal for a mother who’s only son is about to get out of prison?!
It all boils down to a person realizing that they NEED Jesus. It’s not a matter of just wanting to stay out of trouble. You can find ways to do wrong and avoid trouble, at least for a time. Being good is not enough. Never has been. Never will be. We all have to get to the point when we realize our way sucks and God’s way is the ONLY way! The level of the hardness of one’s head determines what, and how long that will take. Being that Tucker is just like me except with male genitals, which clearly makes him worse, most likely explains the worry.
I don’t want to worry. I want my faith to be so strong that I trust God no matter what. So what if Tucker stumbles and falls? God’s made me a promise and His promises are true! He never lies!
Even though Tucker is now a grown man, and our parenting days are over, there are still decisions we have to make. Please pray that Steve and I will make the right decisions, at just the right times, concerning our son. Please pray that I will not interfere with God’s plan by trying to control my son. Please pray that God does a miraculous work in Tucker and that he realizes that his way sucks! Pray that Tuck breaks out of the chains that have held him down. Pray that God places people around Tuck who will lift him up, and remove those who will hinder him. Pray for Tucker to feel no shame, but to use what he’s been through to help others. Pray that God’s will is done in His child’s life.
God’s been so sweet through all this. I’m thankful that He is faithful and never gives up on His children. I’m thankful that God has placed people in our lives who have prayed for us, supported us and not judged our son. Today I choose to concentrate on the things I’m thankful for rather than to worry!
God wasn’t attracted to you and didn’t choose you because you were big and important—the fact is, there was almost nothing to you. He did it out of sheer love, keeping the promise he made to your ancestors. God stepped in and mightily bought you back out of that world of slavery, freed you from the iron grip of Pharaoh king of Egypt. Know this: God, your God, is God indeed, a God you can depend upon. He keeps his covenant of loyal love with those who love him and observe his commandments for a thousand generations. Deuteronomy 7:9
Ps. I had no proof reader today, so if you see mistakes feel free to message me and I’ll gladly fix them. Actually, that goes for anytime!