From ‘F You” To “Cuddle Me” TBI. Not For Wimps!

Finally, I get a chance to write! Last week was a crazy week. Even though we were in the hospital, Tucker required constant supervision from at least two people. He was a handful there for a bit! If he didn’t sleep, which he rarely did at night, no one slept. He wanted someone to be sitting with him touching him. He’d go from “F you!” to “Cuddle me.” in a split second! Thankfully he hasn’t been cussing people out now for days! He’s even more settled since we’ve gotten home. Thank You Jesus!!

We are on the road to recovery! The doctors say he can’t even go to work for 6-12 months. We are believing that God will continue to work miracles and it won’t be that long! One therapist said, and I quote, “God must’ve had His hand on you, because I’ve never seen someone, with your extent of brain injury, do this big of a turn around in 48 hours.” That, my friends is prayer at work! I know we have a long, somewhat unpleasant road ahead, but I know God will see us through.

I’ve went through every emotion in the book the past week. Scared, sad, mad, happy, you name it, I’ve felt it! It’s heartbreaking when you see your child feeling tortured, not understanding what’s going on. We’ve repeatedly told him what happened, yet he doesn’t remember. He’s convinced, because he’s unable to think clearly, that someone removed part of his brain. He remembers things from before, but short term is BAD.

He would have different therapists come in asking him questions, which would really frustrate him. Heck, even in his right mind, he hates lots of questions! He said they all must think he’s dumb. We tried telling him that wasn’t the case, but he just can’t understand.

One day a therapist came in talking to him. She asked him if they wanted him up walking around alone; he shook his head no. She asked if he wanted to walk around alone. He said that he’d just rather walk around with his parents. She asked him why he thought they didn’t want him walking around alone. He said, “Because I’m a bad person, and they don’t want me to be bad. I don’t want to be.” My heart broke into a million pieces. My boy, who’s been through, and done so much is sitting there thinking all this is because he’s a bad person, which is what keeps people stuck in a rut. He has yet to understand, and truly experience, God’s grace. Ah, but he will!!

He remembers the things he’s done and assures us that he doesn’t want that life anymore. One thing about TBI (traumatic brain injury) patients is that they tell everything! Some stuff you don’t want to know. And even though he’s saying some things, not because he wants to, but because he can’t help it, I feel like it’s still good to be getting it all out.

There’s times he wants to say something but can’t think of the right words. I was cutting his hair and asked him to tilt his head back and he leans forward. He’s very frustrated that he can’t be left alone, and honestly, so are we! 🙂

I guess, after all we’ve been through the past week, and all we’re about to go through, the sympathy I had for the young man who did this has flown out the window. Now I’m mad! He was arrested on 2nd degree assault charges and bonded out after a few hours, while Tucker is headed for a 6-12 month recovery period. A rather unpleasant one at that. I’ve written the detective and the DA and ask them to reconsider the charge. 2nd degree assault is not enough. Now, had the young man came to us and said something like “I’m sorry! I was mad. I never meant for this to happen!” I would’ve let it go; but his actions the past week have proven that he is nowhere near remorseful. That being the case, he’s likely to repeat the crime.

Tucker has ZERO defense wounds. ZERO. Those of you who know him know that he would never go down without a fight. It’s a lowdown, dirty thing to sucker punch a man, and kick him while he’s down. There’s NOway that one punch (and we know for a fact he knocked him out with one blow) caused multiple skull fractures and three brain bleeds. Not to mention, this guy traveled 30-40 minutes, having plenty of time to cool down after seeing a picture of his ex girlfriend out with Tucker, and receiving texts saying she was there, to do what he did. He manipulated his way to the party, then intentionally and calculatedly did what he did. Then he left the scene. Had it not been for a loving, caring friend who called 911, and hasn’t left Tucker’s side, Tucker would be dead! This guy came close to killing our son, and didn’t bother coming to us and begging for forgiveness. Which is what I would’ve done, had I gotten mad and done something, most likely not trying to cause this much damage! Then again, who knows? Maybe he did try to hurt Tucker this badly. Like I said, you’d think if he hadn’t he would’ve been there at the hospital talking to us like a man. Then again a man doesn’t sucker punch someone and kick them while they’re down. I want justice to be served. Again, had the young man been remorseful, this would be a different story.

Y’all please pray firstly, for complete healing for Tucker. Secondly, pray for us as caretakers. Thirdly, pray for justice, and for God to use this to change this young man’s life. He’s already working in Tucker’s!! Oh, and pray that we’re not bitter, and that we, above all else, trust God! He’s in control and he has a plan!

There’s SO much to write about, and so much to say. Good stuff, not ranting about who did what. I’m just going through all the emotions right now. I just happen to be at the angry stage. It’ll pass. Plus, our main concern is getting Tucker well!

The dirty look before the storm!

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Lord, rise up in your anger; stand up against my enemies’ anger. Get up and demand fairness. Psalm 7:6

When justice is done, it is a joy to the righteous but terror to evildoers. Proverbs 21:15

My friends, do not try to punish others when they wrong you, but wait for God to punish them with his anger. It is written: “I will punish those who do wrong; I will repay them,”[a] says the Lord. Romans 12:19

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