Warning! I Repeat. WARNING!!!

Since things have been sort of heavy around here lately, I thought I’d lighten the mood a bit. Something embarrassingly funny happened the other day and if I didn’t share this experience with y’all, I feel as if I’d be acting very selfishly. My goal in life is to be selfLESS, not selfISH. So, share I shall!

The other day I needed to get out of the house for a bit so I drove to a nearby store. A store which will remain nameless so as not to incriminate them, or to not allow anyone, who lives near me, to go in and ask questions. Yeah, I know how some of you are!

So I’m enjoying myself, and my alone time, when out of the blue I get the worst stomach pains. I mean, the kind of pain that makes you break out into a sweat. I kept shopping, hoping they’d pass. I smiled and nodded to the person passing by, all the while hoping I didn’t fall out in the floor, or rather that my body didn’t expel anything into the floor, if you know what I mean! Needless to say, things did not go as I’d hoped. The pains did not pass and the inevitable had to happen.

I calmly walk to the register. Smiling as if I’d never felt better. I mean geez! A lady doesn’t want the whole world to know that she’s about to poop her pants! Just my luck! There wasn’t a soul at the register! I waited patiently (for about a second). At that point I was no longer able to hold a smile, let alone anything else. About that time the cashier walked up. I laid my things down, mustered up one last smile and told the girl that I was going to the bathroom. She smiled sweetly and simply said “ok”. Nothing else.

I nonchalantly sprint-walked to the bathroom. When the door was in my sight, I noticed an ‘out of order’ sign on the door. I figured it was one of those things to deter people from using their bathroom. Plus, I had very little decision making time, and there sure wasn’t enough time to run back and ask if it was ok. After all, she said ok! Nothing else! She gave no warning or indication that something was wrong.

To use or not to use? That is the question. The answer? To use!! And oh, what sweet relief! That is until I realized that indeed the commode was broken! Try as I might, there was no flushing that commode. I removed the lid from the back and wiggled the little thingy. I’d seen Steve do that before, and I prayed it would work. Nothing! I realized the water had been turned off so I reached down and turned it on, only to realize that the only thing happening was that the bowl was filling up! OH MY GOSH! Had that mess ran into the floor I might’ve died right then and there! I quickly turned off the water and stood there staring. Embarrassed, and slightly panicked, yet oh so relieved! There was nothing to do but to close the commode and confess the error of my ways.

After exiting the bathroom, thankfully able to smile and walk normally; the thought crossed my mind to just leave and not say a word. I mean, no one had seen me come out of the bathroom!? As I was about to turn and run, the smiling cashier walked up. BUSTED! I had no choice but to tell her I’d used the ‘out of order’ bathroom.

She couldn’t have been sweeter, as always. She assured me that it was ok, and I assured her that she didn’t understand! I had USED that bathroom. I mean REALLY USED it. The smile on her pretty face was quickly replaced with a grimace. “Oh” was all she said. I told her that I thought the sign had been a deterrent, and asked her if I should’ve used the other bathroom. Trying to choke back a look of disgust she simply said “yes”. It was an awkward few seconds of staring at each other before she finally mustered up another smile, (albeit not as sincere as the others) and assured me that the problem would be fixed, but that the problem would also sit there until corporate sent a plumber. OMG! If you’re shopping in Springville Alabama, be careful which bathroom you go in!

I guess the moral of this story is that when we’re given a sign, heed it’s warning! In life we’re given warnings for a reason, either to keep us from harm or from making fools of ourselves. When we disregard such warnings, things get pretty “crappy”, so to speak. And some mistakes don’t flush away that easily. I’m just sayin’.

“Ask for a sign from your God. Ask anything. Be extravagant. Ask for the moon!” Isaiah 7:11 just make sure you read that sign!!!!

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

2 thoughts on “Warning! I Repeat. WARNING!!!”

  1. This one cracked me up…….too funny and can relate. Walmart security probably gets tickled when I am on their cam….due to my often sprinting mode across the store occasionally or maybe more than occasionally lol


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