Let the record show that, when it comes to a good ‘that’s what she said’, I can hardly contain myself! And the same goes for a good ‘your momma‘ joke. (Yes, I realize that it’s supposed to be yo momma, but hey, I’m southern! We say ‘your momma’.)
Anyway, I could be in the middle of small group at church, and someone could, unbeknownst to them, say something that could be taken inappropriately, ( even if ever so slightly) and for the next 15 minutes I’m having to wrestle with my flesh not to blurt out ‘that’s what she said!’
Or someone could be praying and say something like “Lord, I pray that Christa is in exactly the right place, at exactly the right time” and I might feel as if I’m about to explode because “your momma’s in exactly the right place at exactly the right time!” is on the very tip of my tongue!
Why, God, did You have to allow ‘that’s what she said’, and ‘your momma’ to ever be invented?! Why oh why God did You give me a sense of humor that finds mildly inappropriate (or not so mild) things hilarious?! It’s so difficult to maintain composure sometimes. Oh woe is me!
God: Christa? Heller?! Yeah, *chuckling* Every time Madea says that it slays me.
Me: Are you serious?! You think thats hilarious?! But You invented ‘that’s what she said’ and ‘your momma‘ jokes?! And thats what “slays you”?!
God: I’ll take credit for ‘heller’ and I might even take credit for blonde jokes, even though I could possibly be offended by that since everyone was created in my image, but, I’ll NOT take credit for ‘that’s what she said’ or ‘your momma’ (which, by the way, really should be YO momma)
Me: Yes Lord, I know it’s supposed to be ‘yo” and not ‘your’, but in case You’ve forgotten, I’M SOUTHERN!
God: I forget nothing! Well, nothing except your sins that are tossed as far as the east is to the west, and are buried as deep as the ocean floor; but I choose to forget those! Anyway, back to what I was saying. You’re not going to pin ‘YO’ momma‘ and ‘that’s what she said’ on Me. Those came from someone’s perverted mind. I gave you a sense of humor alright, but the “finding mildly (mild My foot) inappropriate things hilarious” that’s ALL you sister!
Me: God, am I in trouble?
God: Trouble? Nah. But I will say that any time you do something, ANYTHING, that doesn’t line up with My Word, it breaks My heart. Not that I want you to feel guilty, because I don’t. I, unlike most people, will never guilt you into anything! My Spirit may convict you, but that’s nothing like guilt or shame!
Me: Your momma’s nothing like guilt or shame *said under my breath*
God: Heller! Duh! I can read your mind! What makes you think mumbling something under your breath is beyond Me?! Besides, I have no momma. I’ve just always been!
Me: I’m sorry Dad, I’ll try to do better. It’s just SO hard! I really want to do what’s right and to be good, but sometimes I can’t seem to stop myself.
God: My sweet daughter, don’t beat yourself up over that! That’s been an issue from way back! Remember what Paul said? And I’m paraphrasing…NOT! *chuckling* Anyway, Paul said it like this, “For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I.” I’m sorry, sometimes even I revert back to KJV, let Me try that again. Ahem. Remember what Paul said, “For the life of me, I can’t understand what I’m doing! The things I don’t want to do I do, and the things I DO want to do I don’t do!” So see, what it boils down to is that you’re human. You can’t be good on your own. You were born into sin, and you need me, and My Spirit living inside you to be good. You have to fully trust in Me, and even with that, as long as you live, there’s going to be trials. I’m certain I said that years ago, in case you’d forgotten. *smiling*
Me: Thank You for being so sweet and patient with us. I know that You give us all we need to live a life that’s pleasing to You. I’m sorry that I’ve ever chosen otherwise.
God: Christa, I think you know that I forgive you. I love you more than you could ever think or imagine!
Me: I love You too.
God is so loving, and patient. He know just the right things to say to us, but it’s up to us to listen. And listening to Him requires conversing with Him. Get to know Him. Don’t ever think that to love God, or to live right means that you have to be perfect! Don’t ever think that, after you decide to give your heart to Jesus, when you mess up God’s just sitting there waiting to smite you! And don’t you ever think that you have to clean yourself up to come to Him! You come to Him dirty and broken! He’ll do the cleansing and healing! Besides, even if we wait until we’re as good as we can possibly be on our own to come to Him, we still, without Him, could never be good enough! He IS the only good in us!
I hope y’all have a good “appropriate joke” filled day!