Good morning y’all! And might I say, God has a way of getting stuff through our thick skulls one way or the other, doesn’t He? I have to tell you though; it’s an eye opening, and humbling experience when He speaks to you through your son. The son that I, and many others, have prayed for for years! The prodigal son who’s struggled with addiction and all the things that go along with it. The very son who almost died eleven months and five days ago.
I have to tell you, since Tucker’s TBI, I’ve heard him speak wisdom on more than one occasion. Mind you, said wisdom could be followed by a barrage of cuss words, but it’s wisdom nonetheless. Hey, I never said there weren’t lingering issues like frequent lack of filter, did I? However, this nugget of wisdom took the cake. What came out of his mouth convicted me, humbled me, renewed my faith, and caused an avalanche of thankfulness. It reminded me, yet again, that God’s promises are true and that He doesn’t waste anything! God is amazing!
Sometimes Tucker just has to get out of the house, so he asked if I’d take him to Walmart. When Tucker’s in a sweet, talkative mood, and wants to spend time with me (even if he is using me to go to Walmart) I jump at the chance! When you’ve come close to losing a loved one, spending time with them becomes much more valuable. However, as much as I cherish my time with Tucker, the effects of a TBI can sometimes make for a not-so-desirable experience. One of the hardest things to deal with, when living with a TBI survivor, is the anger outbursts, and just how, unknowingly or at least somewhat uncontrollably, downright mean they can be. Or how you might ask them a question and they don’t answer. Not because they don’t hear you, but simply because they don’t feel like speaking. Let me tell you, when they want to talk though, you, and anyone else around, had better be ready to listen, because they’re going to talk regardless! Sometimes it’s very hard not to take these things personally, and lots of times it’s hard not to get on to him as if he were a kid! I’m proud to say that now Tucker is learning to control his emotions quite well! Anyway, back to our Walmart trip.
I could tell that Tucker was in a thoughtful mood. It was quiet and he said, “I’m going to ask my boss if I can have September 7th off. It’ll be a year and I just want to spend that day with my family.” Now, that’s a date I rarely forget, but for some reason, that day, I must’ve been having a total brain fart. “A year for….?” I asked. “A year since my accident.” He replied. Thankfully, God must’ve had His hand over my mouth because I didn’t say anything. Mainly because, in my opinion, Tucker’s TBI was no accident. It was a deliberate, senseless crime! After a few seconds of silence Tucker said, “You know, I really do thank God for my brain injury. If that hadn’t happened to me I’d probably be back on the streets using again.” It was all I could do to choke back tears! Happy tears because God is healing Tucker and has brought him so far. The tears I choked back were also tears of conviction. Conviction for the horrible thoughts and feelings I’ve had, and sometimes still do have, toward Eric Winters. Then he said, “Heck, I ain’t even mad about it anymore.” Y’all, that is an attitude that can only come from God! Tell me God’s not at work! When a person can go through something so unnecessary, brutal, and permanently life altering, and can say that they’re thankful it happened?! That’s got God all over it! Let me tell you, I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve been through a lot less and have stayed bitter a lot longer!
I’ve said from the get go that I believed Tucker would be completely healed. I have to admit something though, sometimes when I’d say it, I was trying to convince myself it was true, way more than I was demonstrating great faith. More times than not I was fearful that things would never change. The good thing is, God is faithful even when I’m not!! And His goodness doesn’t always depend on mine, which is a mighty good thing!
Just for the record, I’m not trying to make y’all think that Tucker is right up there with Billy Graham. I mean, like I said earlier, his wisdom could be followed by a barrage of cuss words! There are still issues the Holy Spirit has to deal with and He will! Here’s another good example of the lack of filter issue. Tucker was really worried about my mom who’s in the hospital. He called to check on her the other day, and asked her if there was a nurse or a doctor in the room. She told him no and he said, “Well, I was about to tell them they’d better F’n get you well!” She scolded him for his language and he said, “Ok, I guess I’m gonna go. Love you.” That, my friends is concern! What? Haven’t any of you ever been so concerned about someone that you wanted to tell the doctor “he’d better get them F’n well!”? Isn’t it a good thing that God sees our hearts? 🙂 God sees past our weaknesses and disabilities, and meets us where we are! And it doesn’t matter how we got there!
To all of you who have prayed for Tucker over the past few years, my family says thank you, and God bless you. There were times when we just couldn’t, and what a comfort to know, that there were so many standing in the gap for us! We’d appreciate your continued prayers for Tucker, and those around him, to see God for who He truly is, and that they develop a relationship with Jesus that is above any and all other relationships! And that He strengthens all of our filters! Even those of us without a brain injury! 😉 And right now, I pray that we can all have the attitude Tucker has, and learn to be thankful, for even the bad things, because God never wastes anything! He makes all things work for the good of those who love Him! And no matter how bad things seem, there’s always something to be thankful for! Thanks! Y’all have a great day!
God, your God, is God indeed, a God you can depend upon. He keeps his covenant of loyal love with those who love him and observe his commandments for a thousand generations. But he also pays back those who hate him, pays them the wages of death; he isn’t slow to pay them off—those who hate him, he pays right on time. Deuteronomy 7:9-11. The Message
11 So keep the command and the rules and regulations that I command you today. Do them.