“Well, I Guess They’re Screwed!” 

As most of you know, my mom has been in the hospital. She had, what we are believing to be, her last surgery on her hip. This has been a long, painful, and tiring road that mom has had to travel. I’m thankful to report that she’s feeling great and doing very well! I certainly couldn’t say that last week! In fact, my sister and I were thinking that she just might be nursing home bound! Or quite possibly headed straight for the ol’ padded room!

After mom’s surgery, let’s just say she went a tad bonkers. And trust me, that’s putting it mildly! If I hadn’t known better, I’d swear mom had been doing meth. When a person is paranoid (like for real paranoid!) and hearing and seeing things that aren’t there, and doesn’t bat an eye to sleep for 70, or so, hours; and I mean not even so much as a yawn? One might think they were on something! However, we knew mom hadn’t done meth. She wouldn’t know meth if it bit her on the butt! But we knew something was wrong because, believe it or not, there’s not a history of mental illness in our family! 

I have to say y’all, seeing our mom in that shape was one of the most scary, and saddest things I’ve ever had to witness! However, as sad as it was to see mom in such shape, y’all know me! I’m sure not going to pass up an opportunity to make fun of someone! Some of y’all may be wondering how scary, sad and downright hilarious could coexist. My answer to that is, I have no idea, but I know that it can! Maybe it’s a little gift God gives us to help us cope with horrible situations. Either that or my sister and I are extremely twisted?! Either way, mom was saying some of the funniest stuff!

I can’t possibly write about everything she said, not in one blog! But one of my favorite things was that she wanted to pray with everyone. And I mean everyone! Even the ones she cussed out. While my sister was there, these two young ladies came to mom’s room. I think they were cleaning. It really doesn’t matter what they were doing, but I know they were busy. My mom asked them to come over to her bed and pray so that they could get saved. They politely told her they couldn’t right now because they had to clean her room. They were about to walk out the door and mom looked at my sister and said, with a slight scowl on her face, “Well, I guess they’re screwed!” Oh my gosh! HILARIOUS! She told another girl, who had politely refused her offer, that hell sure was hot! Now, if she wasn’t a “turn or burn” witness, I don’t know who was! And trust me when I say, telling someone they were screwed, is only a drop in the bucket of the things mom did while she was bat poop crazy! The way I see it though, there’s a lesson to be learned in all this, after all, God doesn’t waste anything right?

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wimped out of witnessing to someone. I mean, I’ve had conversations with people knowing they weren’t saved, and walked away having said nothing to them about Jesus?! What the heck?! Shouldn’t Jesus always be on my mind!? Shouldn’t I always be concerned with a person’s eternity?! I can just about tell you that, in talking to a stranger, I always mention my hobbies and/or my family! Why then wouldn’t I mention my Savior?! I think it’s because I’m afraid people might look at me as if I’m crazy!

Let’s face it, if we were to ask everyone we encountered if they knew Jesus, the world would consider us fanatical. They’d say we were hyper-religious, or possibly a nut job. My question is this, should we really give two turds what the world’s opinion is of us?! I mean, aren’t we supposed to be not of this world? Should we strive to be more like bat poop crazy mom?! Are we so prideful that we can’t even look a little crazy for the One who died for our sins? Weren’t there people, back in bible times, who thought Jesus was a tad nutty? Jesus sure took a lot of criticism for us! 

Come to find out, the cause of mom’s craziness was a UTI. Who would’ve thought?! I promise you, I’ve never been more thankful to hear a person had a UTI in my life! I’m happy to say that mom is completely back to normal! Well, as normal as we’ve ever been. Here’s the thing, I don’t want to have to have a UTI to be crazy enough to tell people about Jesus! I want to be crazy bold without having to actually be crazy! But I would prefer to lovingly tell them they’re screwed if they don’t accept Jesus instead of in a mean voice and with a scowl. I mean, what’s more loving, to tell someone they’re screwed if they don’t accept Jesus, or to just let them walk away thinking they’re fine and dandy? Not to mention, it’s the best excuse I’ve ever heard to say ” I guess you’re screwed!” 

Do you think I am trying to make people accept me? No, God is the One I am trying to please. Am I trying to please people? If I still wanted to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10

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