When I was pregnant with our son Tucker, I gained a lot of weight. Seventy something pounds to be (almost) exact. I had toxemia really bad, so a good majority of the weight gain was fluid, but still DANG! Needless to say, pretty early on I was having to see the doctor every two weeks. Before the toxemia had been diagnosed, they had warned me about the weight gain. In the two weeks that followed, I tried really hard to watch what I ate, so as not to gain any more weight. Let me tell y’all, I was so proud of myself! I strutted into that doctors office like a peacock, and confidently stepped onto the scales. I knew how good I had been! Imagine the horrified look on my face when the scales revealed I had gained ten pounds in two weeks! Two dang weeks!!
I managed to make it to the room without breaking down, although I must admit, it was a struggle. I kept telling myself that it would be ok. I just kept assuring myself that as soon as I had this baby I would work on losing the weight. As I was getting undressed, about to put on that lovely paper gown, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. The full length mirror. Something I hadn’t done in a while. Just let me tell y’all, some things are better left unseen! I stood there, staring in disgust, lip quivering, trying my best to hold it together. I tried as hard as I could, but emotions and hormones took over, and I was full fledged, bawling like a three year old. I mean, snubbing, losing my breath, slinging snot, the whole nine yards.
The doctor I saw that day was Dr. John. Dr. John was older and slightly hard of hearing. Bless his heart, he walked into a sight for sore eyes that day! I had managed to put on the gown, and get up on the table, but the tears and snot were still flowing. Dr. John asked me what was the matter. I said “I’m ‘snub’ never ‘snub’ going to ‘snub’ lose ‘snub’ all this wei ‘snub’ eight!!!” I’m sure, on top of being hard of hearing, all the snubbing and snot slinging made it even harder to understand, so he asked me again. Again I said, “I’m ‘snub’ never ‘snub’ going to ‘snub’ lose ‘snub’ all this wei ‘snub’ eight!!!” The look on his face was of grave concern, since he hadn’t understood what I had said. But I’ll never forget the look on his nurses face. It was as if she was trying to choke back laughter and tears. Her eyes were wide and her lips were tightly closed, and she sort of nodded and shook her head at the same time. She knew how I felt, but it sure was a funny sight when it was somebody else. At this point Dr. John asked his nurse if she could interpret for him. The nurse answered, as she patted my shoulder, “Um, she said she’s never going to lose all this weight.” Dr. John sat on his stool, rolled over to me, patted my knee and said ever so gently, “You know, it’s a woman’s prerogative to cry over her weight.” So cry I did! And Dr. John got down to business, as if me laying there sobbing was nothing out of the norm. And maybe it wasn’t.
I dont remember if I was in the stirrups that day, but if I was, I bet they were chuckling behind the sheet. When he finished, I got dressed as quickly as I could (without looking in the mirror) then ran out of the office, with my head down, still snubbing. I often wondered how many people sitting in the waiting room, thought that something horrible had happened to me or my baby. And the crazy thing is, I was more worried about being so fat than the health of my unborn baby! Ah, to be young and ignorant! Hey, it has its advantages!
At the time, looking in that mirror at my yucky, fat body seemed so horrible! Looking back, it’s kind of hilarious that I was crying so badly over ten pounds. Especially since what I should’ve been thinking was thank you Lord for allowing me to have this sweet baby growing inside me! Not to mention, I just wish ten pounds was all I had to cry about now! Sometimes we humans make mountains out of molehills, or tons out of a few pounds, if you will. Which is crazy, because God’s word says if we only have the faith of a mustard seed we can move mountains! However, most of the time, instead of believing we can do all things through Christ and move that mountain, we sit and cry, and stare at the mountain, trying to figure out how to get around it. Aka, instead of trying to lose weight, we try and find clothes that make us look skinnier! The whole time, God’s looking at us, scratching his head, wondering why, instead of fretting and scheming, we don’t just turn to Him! He sees over, under and beyond our mountains. He sees more than the here and now. Let’s stop crying over our mountains. Let’s stop trying to get around our mountains and start hiking to the top! Trust God to help you the whole way. He never leaves us.
And just for the record, let me say that I’d gain a million pounds to have Tucker! All the crap we’ve been through is well worth it when you see how God is working, and using everything! Tucker is writing a bible study! He’s read part of it to me and y’all, it’s good stuff! Im hoping he’ll let me put it in this blog! Y’all pray that he will! Then y’all can really see what God has been up to!
Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. Isaiah 41:10.