Life has a way of pissin’ all over you, so to speak. Let me start by saying this; through all this, I’ve gained a new perspective for people who live with chronic issues. What I’m going through is a drop in the bucket. At least I can see a light at the end of the tunnel! Some people have to live with issues worse than what I’m dealing with, on a daily basis, and forever!
I’m always trying to find ways to look, feel, and/or seem younger. I’ll try the latest makeup fads, I take care of my hair and skin…let’s face it, not many women enjoy aging! That being said, I suppose, instead of crying my eyes out about what happened to me the other day, I should’ve looked at it in a different light!
I got that stupid catheter out! I rejoiced! I praised the Lord! I celebrated! It was the little things that got to me, like sitting on the toilet to pee! And being able to sit comfortably in a car, or anywhere else for that matter! Not dragging a bag of pee around! That one was a biggie! Then, suddenly everything started going awry.
I was standing there, having a nice conversation with my sister, when I suddenly peed my pants. Yeah, ok. Go ahead and laugh. It’s ok! I tried to rationalize it. I thought to myself, my bladder must be weak from wearing a catheter so long. The question that kept popping into my head was, then why is this just now happening?! I wasn’t peeing on myself a few days ago! This happened several more times before I could get back home. Each time getting worse and worse.
I panicked. I started thinking what if I have to live like this the rest of my life? That’s when the tears started to flow. I cried and cried at the thought of having to wear the catheter forever. I cried at the thought of having to wear adult diapers. I cried at the thought of my friends putting plastic on the couch when I came for a visit! Y’all, I was upset!
Steve just sat there, not really knowing what to say. I can’t blame him really. It’s a touchy situation when a woman is crying and having an all out pity party! The wrong words could’ve easily resulted in my emotional wreckage being directed at him! My sadness could’ve easily turned to bitter accusations and name calling. Steve was wise to keep quiet. After my attempt to make a joke, which failed miserably due to me not being able to stop bawling, I guess Steve felt it was ok to speak. He tried to assure me that it would all be ok, and that the doctors could fix this. He reminded me that God was in control…yada yada yada. Had I not been so emotionally fragile, he probably could’ve thought more clearly, and said something very profound like, ‘you’re always wanting to look younger! How much younger looking can you get than wearing diapers?!’ Now, why couldn’t he have thought of that!? I would’ve felt better in no time!🙄😂
The way I see it, every cloud has a silver lining! Sometimes, we just have to look really hard! I went to the doc the next morning and the catheter was put back in, much to my dismay. Now it seems as if I’m right back to square one. That’s ok though! At least now I can sit on people’s furniture without soiling it! See! I told you there’re was a bright side to everything!
I’m reminded of poor Jonah in the Bible. Jonah was running from God in a bad way! He was stuck in the belly of a whale for three days. He went through all sort of turmoil, but his troubles (disobedience) were not wasted! Jonah became a successful prophet not because he was such a good man, but because our God is a good God!
A lot of us are going through difficult times. If we sit and feel sorry for ourselves, aren’t we, like Jonah, running from God? Hang in there! God has a plan! (I’m preaching to myself!)
Then Jonah prayed to the Lord his God from inside the fish. He said, “I cried out to the Lord in my great trouble, and he answered me. I called to you from the land of the dead, and Lord, you heard me! Jonah 2:1-2