Broke, Barefooted And Alone. Addiction SUCKS!

I’m getting right to the point this morning. To say that I am mad, sad, heartbroken and just plain sick is an understatement! I can hardly come up with words that describe how I feel. Some of the words I want to say are offensive to most people. If I let a few words slip I hope you’ll forgive me. If you can’t forgive me, then my advice to you would be to stop reading now, because I’m sure you will be offended! I’m trying to be honest and real. If you can’t handle it, find another blog. I’ll understand. ADDICTION F&@*%#!SUCKS!

It never fails! Things will be going along smoothly then BAM! The phone rings and it’s your son. Stranded in a crime ridden area carrying everything he owns! As a mom I would love nothing more than to scoop him up, bring him home, and love him back to normal. I wish that were possible! I’ll admit though, there was a part of me who wanted to hang up the phone and forget he had even called. Let’s be real here. If I had a dollar for every time he had ruined my damn plans with this kind of shit I’d be rich! You can call me selfish or judge me all you want, but I’m tired. So, I called my rock, his dad, because let’s face it women, men handle these things (especially with sons) way better than we do! At least my man does! I knew Steve would handle this the right way, even if it was hard.

Steve went and picked up our boy and brought him back to where we live. We had already told him he could not come home. He dropped him off at Walmart with everything he owned. Yes, a tiny part of me wished he would have wanted to go anywhere but here! Most of the time I don’t worry that much about what others think, but this is just getting so old! Quite frankly, it gets embarrassing. A friend messaged me and said he had given Tucker a ride to a “friends” house. I was thankful he’d found somewhere to go, even though I knew it probably wasn’t a good place. I went out and enjoyed my evening as best I could. The next day I went to church and to lunch. My intentions were to come home and take a nap. That didn’t happen.

I know when I get a phone call from a random number at a weird time, something is up. Tucker called and said he was stuck somewhere. A bad part of town. All his belongings had been stolen, including his phone and shoes! He had walked from some seedy motel to a gas station barefooted! I gathered up some things; a pair of shoes a few shirts and some pants. We hopped in the car and made the 45 minute drive to where he was.

To think of any person losing everything they own is heartbreaking. When it’s your only child? The pain is real! Even when you know those things aren’t worth much. Know what I mean? We tried to get him to go to a shelter or a treatment facility, but to quote him, “I’m not going to a f*cking rehab or a God d*mned shelter! I don’t need f*cking rehab!” My son doesn’t talk to me like that unless he’s using. Steve told him to figure out where he wanted to go. We ended up dropping him off at a Walmart a few miles down the road. No phone. The clothes on his back and a few dollars he claimed to have. I’m sick!

I’ve always been able to at least check on him through Facebook. When he had a phone I figured he could get in touch with someone to come take him somewhere. This is torture. Y’all, please pray for him! I’m so sad for him. I’m trying to trust God and believe that he’s going to be ok, but I’m struggling.

*Fear of man is a dangerous trap, but to trust in God means safety. Proverbs 29:25*

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16 thoughts on “Broke, Barefooted And Alone. Addiction SUCKS!”

    1. Gosh. I just read that and I’m not sure what to say. It seems that your son is “lost” . You will have to wash your hands of him if he won’t help himself. You can’t keep running to him. I know it’s your child but at what point do u say I can’t do it anymore. Prayers to u.

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    2. I am praying your son and your family. I have been through this and it does suck. I have done tough love so many times. I’ve laid awake at night and cried worrying if he was dead. Every time the phone rings now I always have a thought like I’m praying.hes ok. I have finally given him to God. I pray God will deliver him from this life he’s chosen but I know that my son has to want to change too.
      Praying for you
      Connie

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  1. I know your pain I had to let go and let God be in charge my niece is an addict after many years of in and out of trouble and running to her calls and needs I said enough. She is currently in the prison system. Where hopefully can get the help she needs she has a drug and sex addiction. I realized there was nothing I could say or do to change her because. According to her she doesn’t have a problem

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  2. I’m so sorry about tucker and I know what your going through . I put my mother through the same thing . But until tucker decides he wants to get straight your just inabling him . As hard as I may sound. Tucker has to save him himself at this point. I’ll pray for you and tucker. You need to know it’s not your fault. I know you and Steve you did a good job raising tucker. It’s up to him now.

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  3. I can relate. That’s how my weekend went too but I’m trying to raise his kid and my kid so i can’t give him rides. I tell him that hang up the phone pray for him hate the drugs hate myself. Praying for your kid too. Praying for all of our kids

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      1. We can hate the evil it does to our kids ,and it comes from our enemy ! But just keep thanking God that Jesus wins the war !! That is what I hang on to , because we do get tired . And yes mad at our selves, but it let’s you know our faith in Jesus pisses the devil off !! Stay strong sweet sister. Love and prayers for you all !!

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  4. I’m ugly crying right now bc I’ve been where you are. I’d like to say it gets better but we both know it doesn’t. My son has been clean 2 yrs. But it almost killed us both to get him there. It’s hard to walk away, but I did same as you. I’ll pray for you all. All you can do.

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